Fighting creative block: stress and lack of productivity due to coronavirus pandemic

    Fear and anxiety about the current COVID-19 pandemic and what could happen is really overwhelming and causes strong emotions with all of us. Worry about our own health and the health of our loved ones, together with necessary public health actions, such as social distancing, make a lot of people feel isolated and lonely, and make all sort of changes in our daily life.

For me, most prominent thing was having real difficulty sleeping and concentrating. I am very lucky that I could switch to doing my day job from home, so financially I was fine for the moment, but I could not help but worry about how long that would be possible. At first I thought that the new circumstances and working from home exhaust me so much that I could not concentrate on anything else, like reading a book, or watching a film, or creating something - basically all the things that used to make me happier. After a while I realized that the only thing I did in my free time is staring at the ceiling or obsessively reading news. I had a complete creative block. I felt like a slacker, like I could not complete any task that is not immediately necessary to be completed and, since my Etsy shop was doing really awful, I had no motivation to make anything new, or even finish some stuff I started working on and was really excited about them at first. Since there was a complete lock down and nothing to do away from home, I felt really crappy about not having or achieving any of my previously set goals.

At one moment I came across this great video from TedEd, explaining what chronic stress I was experiencing was actually doing to my brain:

 

It made me realize that I have to start introducing some changes to my daily life in hope that slowly my rapidly deteriorating mental status would get better. I set one simple goal: to manage my time better in order to start doing things that make me happy again.

First thing was taking a break from reading, watching and listening to news stories all the time. I was already informed enough on what to do if I experience any of the symptoms of the disease, I was taking all the measures necessary to avoid being infected and all of my loved ones were informed and taking as many precautions as they could, so there was nothing more I could do.

At some point I started drinking insane amounts of coffee in hope it would "make me" do something productive, so I gave caffeine a break, switched to herbal tea for a week in hope to jump start my brain in order for it to start reacting to stimulants normally. I started exercising a bit (literally a bit, like 5 minutes a day) and taking little pauses to breathe when I feel overwhelmed. 

I created a list of daily priorities: eat, finish the job for the day, eat, rest, clean around the house and start slowly sorting things out in my creative life. 

I gave myself credit where it's due. I became aware of my limitations, so I had more clues as to what direction to head in: before I attempt to strive for anything, I am confronted with a reality check - can I really accomplish that in the near future, or do I have a bunch of tiny steps in between? Do I really even want this?

I realized that when everything else crumbles around me, I'll get strength from my ability to ground myself in a crazy world that can self destruct from the smallest spark and I cannot do anything else about it.

After a week I started noticing how every next day differed ever so slightly from the previous.

Slowly over a few weeks I was managing my time better and started having all sort of creative ideas. It does sound really simple and logical, but so many people talk themselves out of it - whatever you crave, use it to get moving. When you feel like you have no motivation, think about the goal, not about why you started, because you are probably in a completely different situation now. Think about what you are doing and that you are doing it for yourself. And then simply do it. It will be easier some days and harder the others, but never lose sight of what you want.

Stop wasting time doing things that don't make you happy, only less bored.

Motivation comes from within. I can tell you what to do, but I cannot want it for you. Like anything else in your life, once you train your motivation it will be much easier for you to find it again on days when you really feel empty.

Fellowship of the Ring necklace

So, to conclude this story, I used all of my new LOTR figurine beads to make one of a kind necklace.

The beads are strung on a stainless steel wire and separated with tiny white porcelain beads, so each character can stand out a bit. The delicate chain is also made from stainless steel, which I always prefer to silver, since it is much more resilient and easier to maintain than silver, but looks equally good.

I was very happy and proud that the necklace was sold a few days after it was listed in my Etsy shop, so I had extra motivation to proceed to make another one with, which will probably turn out even better having in mind how things are going so far. Stay tuned...

Tiny polymer clay doll beads - The Fellowship of the Ring

Being an overachiever that I am lead me to further explore how much I can torture myself (precisely my eyes and lower back) by making tiny doll beads. One of my all time favorite books is Lord of the Rings, so, naturally, as soon as I figured out some basic steps to do and avoid (Part I and Part II) I sat down and attempted to make The Fellowship of the Ring.
The first and the most complicated one to make was Gandalf the Grey. Since he is the tallest one in the Fellowship I had to make sure that he is at least an inch tall, so the other characters (especially hobbits) could be made in an appropriate ratio. Gandalf alone took me about 3 hours to complete. It could have saved me a good half an hour if I did not try to make the Wizards staff from polymer clay, but used what was right in front of me - a toothpick and some sanding paper. The only polymer clay detail on the staff (which I am very proud of) is the top, which I made from glow-in-the-dark FIMO that has been lying in my craft box for quite some time, since I never figured out a good use for it. While Gandalf figurine was drying, I made four hobbit figurines about half an inch tall. The most complicated of the bunch was Frodo, because I wanted to include a tiny round 18k gold connector bead as the One ring, so I had to be extra careful to secure it and paint around it. After an additional hour of painting and 24 hours of drying, I had my first two members!

Rest of the hobbits were a bit easier to make and soon I had the whole Shire gang done. While the rest of the Fellowship was in the oven I had to make teeny tiny pan and po-tay-toes for Sam :)

The next pair - Legolas and Gimli, were probably the most fun to make, and by this time my hand was steady enough to manage to paint their weapons on the back. I even included some very light glitter on Gimlis axe to make it pop a bit. 

Because of the similarities in physical appearance, I painted Boromir and Aragorn in parallel, just to make sure their robes and hair color are different enough, so no one would mix them on such a small scale.

This is by far my most complicated project, but the end result even stunned me - they all looke awesome!

DIY tiny polymer clay doll beads: part II

After my first try with Snow White and seven dwarfs my next adventure included revisiting an old idea - making Little Red Riding Hood and her grandma. I had incredible luck while digging through a pile of metal charms in a craft shop a few years back to find incredible bras wolf pendants. They were sitting in a drawer for a few months, since I did not really have an idea what exactly I wanted to make with them, and then it dawned on me that they would look great as brooches. It took some time to manage soldering brooch clasp to a brass surface, but in the end it looked great, and most importantly was very firm! Since these dolls are very small (less than half an inch) the best result was achieved by making them in the style of traditional Russian (matryoshka) dolls. I will once again highlight that key to successfully represent a character via this little dolls is to include just the right amount of details and not "overwhelm" the tiny surface.  This time I used basic white FIMO to make the dolls and painted the faces with skin colored acrylic paint, to see if it would make a big difference in painting small details on the face comparing to just using skin colored base like with the Snow White. It did not make a big difference in how hard it was to achieve this amount of details, the only disadvantage was making the process about half an hour longer, since I had to wait for the surface to be completely dry before painting faces. It was also a bit more pressure, since I knew if i made a mistake, I would have to sand off a whole area where the face is and start again. Luckily, that did not happen, and I was very pleased with the end result.

This brooch is available in my Etsy store, and if you would like to own this unique little piece of art, make sure to use a special code I created (look to the right navbar!) to ensure 10% off in addition to free worldwide shipping.

DIY tiny polymer clay doll beads practical advice - I experimented so you don't have to!

Ever since I started making jewelry I really enjoyed making book inspired pieces. I always had an idea to start making characters from my favorite books and fairy tales as little doll beads, but never quite committed to that, and I think it is about time to give it a try. 

My first task - Snow White and the seven dwarfs.

Most important thing to keep in mind when you make a tiny doll is an amount of details you should include - too much details on a tiny surface can be overwhelming, so the greater picture gets lost, and too little might not make it obvious which character is it. So I decided to keep it as simple as possible, and use color of the clothes for each dwarf.

First thing was to decide which material would be the best to use for making the dolls itself, and after a lot of trial-and-errors, FIMO polymer clay was the best choice. Other polymer clay brands turned out to be too dry and too hard to knead for me, so they required adding some oil, but I could never quite hit the right amount and usually ended up with clay which is way too soft for making pieces with small details. I never throw it away though, it is great for making round beads, so it was not a total loss (I am yet to decide what to do with so many basic round beads - stay tuned).  Natural clay is fine, but I would not advise it for such small pieces, since it often cracks when it dries (which can last up to four days) and it is really frustrating when cracks appear after a few days and you just have to start over. 

Two good advices for anybody who would like to try making something like this: use skin colored polymer clay and make a bead hole using a hand drill after the clay is baked. With skin colored base it is easier to erase mistakes when you start painting (peel them off with gentle sand paper and just continue painting) and drilling hard piece eliminates any deformities that can occur if the clay is unbaked. This is also why I loved FIMO the most, after baking it still has some degree of elasticity, which eliminates tiny cracks that can appear around the hole.

My previous experience with painting polymer clay was that any kind of acrylic color is always better than expensive "polymer clay only pants", since they usually end up to be just that - fancy named regular acrylic paint. One important lesson I learned while working with jewelry is to always read the ingredients list: you can detect harmful substances, and discover when you are being scammed. I have tried all kinds of acrylic paint and medium priced ones are just fine - the cheapest tend to dry to quickly and the more expensive ones tend to be too concentrated and in my experience peel off easier from the dried beads.

First one up was Snow White. It was easier to start with a "larger" bead to get some practice and it went surprisingly well.

The only thing I would have done differently, which would save me some time in the long run, is to be a bit more patient and not paint second layer of acrylic color until the first one is completely dry (it take 20 minutes or so) and to paint two thin layers rather than just one thick layer.

When I started making dwarfs, I was able to paint even some small details on their faces, which brought me to another important conclusion - invest in a good very thin brush for this kind of work, it makes a huge difference! 

Also, have some toothpicks near, they can be useful for some of the delicate details, like eyes, and are also handy as holders when you paint "larger" surfaces or while the beads are drying.

Each new dwarf took me less time than the previous, so like anything, making this beads is also a matter of practice. And patience - I had to start over a few times when the brush slipped or I was not satisfied with the end result.

Crucial step in making these beads wearable was deciding on the varnish; the polymer clay one would probably not be good for acrylic paint, and the acrylic varnish might damage the polymer clay parts and make them sticky. I did a little test on a piece of painted baked clay (which is always a good idea when you try something new) and, surprisingly, both varnishes act the same - they protect the acrylic layer from peeling and the unpainted polymer clay part is not sticky after drying.

After about 5 hours of work (and a very sore back despite the breaks) I have painted the whole set! 

It took me additional hour to apply varnish and I left the beads one whole day to make sure the varnish is completely dry. In the meantime, I scratch-tested previously mentioned test-piece and was very pleased that beads are very resilient and wearing them won't damage them. As I expected they are also water-proof.  I have to add, even though I always make sure that the jewelry I make is the highest quality possible, if you don't take proper care, some damage can occur - you should always make sure to keep them away from water and chemicals (cosmetics, perfume, ...).

And lastly, this is the end result - a truly unique necklace made with porcelain white separator beads and stainless steel wire and chain. I also managed to sneak in another little detail: a little apple made of porcelain bead with a tiny precious emerald bead. I hope you like the end result and stay tuned for more!